RELIGIOUS HUMOR
JOANNA AND THE WHALE
Little Johnny’s mom was suspicious that he hadn’t been paying much attention in Sunday School. So as soon as they got home, she asked, “So, Johnny, what did you learn in class today?”
“We learned about Joanna and the Whale,” he said proudly.
“Joanna and the Whale?” she repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Tell me more.”
Johnny nodded and launched into his version of events. “Well, Joanna lived in Miami, and one day she went deep sea fishing in the Bermuda Triangle. Then a big storm hit! The boat captain panicked and threw her overboard because her fishing line got tangled with something huge.”
His mom crossed her arms, skeptical. “Uh-huh… go on.”
“It turned out it wasn’t a fish at all,” Johnny said. “It was actually a CIA submarine. They picked her up, took her to Cuba, and told her to warn Castro to behave—or Uncle Sam would drone him.”
“And then what happened?” she asked, half amused, half horrified.
“Castro said okay, and everyone lived happily ever after,” Johnny concluded with a smile.
His mother stared at him, speechless. “Johnny… is that really the story your teacher told you?”
Johnny shuffled his feet, avoided eye contact, and finally muttered,
“Not exactly… but trust me—if I told you his version, you’d never believe it!”
PREACHER’S LAST DAY AT CONGREGATION
A preacher had been with a congregation for over 5 years but was finishing his last service with them because he was moving to another state. He wasn’t too puffed up but was fairly proud of himself and thought he was a pretty good preacher.
When he had preached his last sermon at this congregation and services had concluded, he was at the door saying “goodbye” and accepting compliments and best wishes from all the members as they were leaving the building. Then he re-learned humility.
A little old lady, on her way out shook his hand and told him that the next preacher they got would not be as good as him. He shuffled and tried to be humble and told her, “Oh, of course he will be.”
She said, “Oh, no. He won’t be. I’ve been a member of this congregation for 45 years and have seen 8 preachers come and go. And, EVERY ONE WAS WORSE THAN THE ONE BEFORE !!.”