RELIGIOUS HUMOR
SUNDAY SCHOOL
As he returned home from school one day, a seven-year-old boy announced to his mom: "I want to go to Sunday school."
Pleased, his mom told him that she'd find one for him.
Later he said: "Oh, boy, I can't wait to go to Sunday school. One day sounds so much better than five."
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO GO TO HEAVEN?
"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" a teacher asked the children in her Sunday School class.
"NO!" the children all answered.
"If I cleaned the church building every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my family, would that get me into Heaven?" she asked them again.
Again, they all answered, "NO!"
"Well, she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YA GOTTA BE DEAD!”
(Ah, ummmm . . . . , we know some will be alive when Christ comes, but ya gotta’ love how kids think)
WHAT DID ABRAHAM FIND?
(true story)
The Sunday school teacher was teaching her class of pre-schoolers the story of Abraham and Isaac. She noticed that little MaryLou didn't seem to be paying much attention so, to get her mind back on the lesson, she asked her - "MaryLou what did Abraham find caught in the bushes?"
MaryLou, a quick thinker but not completely sure of her answer said, "A possum ??"
CASINOS & CHURCHES IN LAS VEGAS
There is a surprising number of churches of many faiths in Las Vegas. The number of churches may rival the number of casinos. Many people partying and playing the casinos all week sometimes "get religion" on Sunday and attend church services.
To bolster its collections when the "basket is passed", Catholic churches began accepting casino chips as contributions. There was a problem with this however. Because they got chips from many different casinos, cashing the chips for currency was a tedious task. To resolve the problem, the various catholic churches sent all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery where monks would sort the chips. The chips then could be taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in.
The tedious task of sorting the casino chips was done, of course, by the . . . . . . . chip monks.
PRAYER FOR A PARKING PLACE
Jim was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place, I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking and gambling!"
Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
Jim looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one.”